Mother and daughter gay relationship

Mother And Daughter Allegedly Claim They Are Lesbian Couple ▷

mother and daughter gay relationship

Mother and daughter come out about lesbian relationship. Mary and Vertasha Carter are more than mother and daughter. They are also. Journal of Gay & Lesbian Social Services, –, Copyright © Taylor Black feminist theory to reframe the role of mother–daughter relationships. We are now going public with our relationship to help others who might be in gay mother/daughter relationship feel confident and okay about.

mother and daughter gay relationship

She said she would not have had any contact with the baby anyway as she was conceived via sperm donation and "it was nothing but a disappointment to her". After the miscarriage, I was quite depressed for some time. This was all particularly hard as in I suddenly lost my father, who was very dear to me.

mother and daughter gay relationship

I miss him a lot. My mum was divorced from him for years and hated him with a passion. I haven't heard from her since I lost the baby.

How should I respond if my child comes out to me?

She still sends cards and presents to my son who is six and was conceived after a relationship with a man with whom my son is in close contact. She had said, via my aunt, that she expected to still see my son but without speaking to me. She wanted contact to be via my aunt and for me to drop him off miles away. I wasn't happy with this as I didn't think it was a good dynamic.

She told my aunt to tell me she would never forgive me for losing contact with her grandchild. I'm not sure how I'm meant to respond to the cards and presents she sends him.

I give them to him, but that means he still asks about his nan and why he doesn't see her. Close friends have said I need to write her a final letter asking her not to contact my son and close the door on this. This feels like the right thing to do, but it is very hard as if I do, it will probably be my final contact with my mum.

I need to find some peace with it. I am very stuck on this issue. Anonymous What a very sad, painful situation for all of you and how much loss you have suffered. In a sense you and your mother have something in common: As well as processing their feelings, they will hopefully want to think through the biblical and theological side of how they should live if they are a Christian.

Don't tell them what to think, although feel free gently to share your own opinion with them, but give them space to think this through for themselves safely. Take it seriously - don't deny it Depending on the age of the child, some parents may be tempted to deny that their children have same-sex attractions or a same-sex orientation - or tempted to trivialise it, e.

You might grow out of it. But putting it like this is unhelpful for at least three reasons. First, it doesn't take seriously the powerful nature of the feelings themselves at the time, and the concern this may be causing your child.

Whether their feelings last or not, they need to be taken seriously as long as they are there.

mother and daughter gay relationship

Telling them they do not really feel how they feel is a recipe for damaging their trust and ability to be open with you. Second, there is no way at all of telling whether your child is someone whose sexual feelings will change as they get older, or whether their current attractions are permanent - in which case, telling them that they might grow out of it could well be setting up an unrealistic expectation.

But third, and most importantly, such a statement still makes the assumption that being 'straight' is the normal sexuality which they are deviating from - whereas, as I have just pointed out, 'straight' sexuality is equally fallen from God's good original created purposes.

For ages, I delayed telling my parents about my sexuality. I knew they would not reject me, but I worried that they'd react too strongly in their reassurance and acceptance.

I didn't want to be coddled with sympathy or treated differently because of my sexuality.

FALSE: Vertasha and Mary — Mother-Daughter Couple

I just wanted to be 'normal' Sean whatever normal means, anywaythe way I had always been. I know now that I did not need to worry about this, but I did worry!

So, whilst you must accept what your child says and take it seriously, try not to overreact either - either because you are upset, or because you are so keen to reassure them.

They do need reassurance, but make sure you don't 'protest too much' - one of the things they may need to be reassured about is that this doesn't change anything. They are still themselves. Whilst their sexuality is an important part of them that you must accept and not deny, it is not the whole of who they are. Don't speculate about causes The fact is, nobody knows for sure what causes anyone's sexual orientation - whether straight, L, G, B, T, or something else check out Ed Shaw's article on 'Why are some people same sex attracted?

So, speculating with your child about the origins of their sexuality will probably not get you anywhere anyway.

mother and daughter gay relationship

Maybe one day some study will definitively prove what shapes our sexuality, but in the meantime there is a lot we don't know. For what it's worth, if one day we do reach a scientific understanding of the origins of sexuality, my money is on these origins being a complex mixture of genetic, hormonal and circumstantial factors, and not being something we can simplistically pin down to one single factor anyway.

But more importantly, speculating with your child sends him or her the not-so-subtle message that you are uncomfortable with their sexuality and don't regard it as 'normal' whereas, as I keep pointing out, nobody's sexuality is 'normal' in a fallen world.

Very few 'straight' people feel the need to think through the origins of their sexuality e. It's about them, not you - but get support if you need it Following on from the previous point, there is some unhelpful thinking around which lays the blame for homosexuality at the door of the child's parents.

There are different versions of this, ranging from a 'nurture' emphasis perhaps the child allegedly had a difficult relationship with their father, or a 'dominating' mother or more of a 'nature' slant supposedly the child was exposed to abnormal hormonal levels in the womb. In my case at least I have always had a good relationship with my Dad.

My Mum is not dominating either she wishes! And besides, there are plenty of people who do have these relationships with their parents and who aren't gay. But more importantly, the problem with this kind of speculation and, again, it is speculation is that it takes the focus off your child and onto you at a time when the child needs you to be focussed on them. You might feel guilty or upset, but your child is not the person to process that with.

If you are struggling not to blame yourself, feel guilty, overreact and so on, it could be that you need some space and help to process your own emotions and response. That is totally understandable and not necessarily a sign of homophobia or failure to accept your child - it just means you need a bit of space and support.

Do find trusted people to talk to, because the point of doing so is in order to be there more effectively for your child. For example, True Freedom Trust, which I have already mentioned, also provides support for parents and families. At the same time, don't feel offended if you aren't the main person that they want to support them! My own parents are extremely supportive and accepting, but they are still not the main people with whom I want to discuss my sexuality in depth!

Again, asking open questions, such as 'What would you like me to do to support you?

How should I respond if my child comes out to me?

If your child is an adult If your child is an adult and not living at home, then it is important to recognise that they are already making their own decisions and living their own life. Some people feel very uncomfortable with the idea, for example, of their adult children having a sexual partner to stay overnight in the same room.

In my view, Christ's call to show hospitality and acceptance in such a situation outweighs the need to send a message about whether a sexual relationship is right or not. Church discipline is precisely that - church discipline. It can only be exercised by the church, not individuals.